Saturday, April 15, 2006

We've just been out to look at some garden toys for the kids; swings, slides and the like. I'm fed up having a hudge garden that I have to cut only for it to be under used, so this year I plan to deck it out in stuff for them to do. These things aren't cheap either, and thats a bit of a rip off, since its only a few bits of wood and bolts, but I guess at least we know its been through some safty inspection - which would be more than my attempts.

I lost my mum to cancer last August, and I'm still kind of struggling with it. Before it happened I alwasy wonder how people manaed, and assumed that you'd just get over it since people don't cry forever. But after its happened to you, you begin to realise you never ever get over it, you simply start to accept it. Now not a day goes by when I don't think of her, and whenever I'm watching TV and theres a death of some kind, I'm almost in tears all over again. I think the main thing is that you can think about them in the past and as long as you dont dwell on you feelings or theirs, you manage - just, but as soon as you start to really think about them and what they're missing, thats it, you're in tears again. I don't think people are designed to lose ones they love, and its one of the (many) reasons I think my religion helps me.

Anyway.... Luca has been emailing me asking about my retro project again.( so it's probably time to start that up again. It would be nice to get it finished, its only taken 6 years so far!!! Thats the problem with doing games, you just cant be bothered doing them when you come home again.

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